Are you looking for a way to distinguish your brand in an increasingly crowded media landscape? Hoping to go beyond traditional advertising to pursue something, or rather, someone, with true potential for growth?
Allow me to be of service. I’m thrilled to announce that I am staging an auction for the rights to rename my two adorable children after whichever corporate sponsors ultimately devote the most resources — cough, cold hard cash, cough — to emerge the winners of this exciting event.
Alice Gomstyn 